At The Intersection Of Watch Lover And Asshole

At The Intersection Of Watch Lover And Asshole

At The Intersection Of Watch Lover And Asshole   feature articles

Gawker blogger Hamilton Nolan once again recently waxed poetic on his love of hating assholes. A January 2013 Nolan opinion piece is one that made me chuckle more than once on his rather astute observation that "assholes love watches." Pointing out this fact, he then asks the rhetorical question of why [do assholes love watches?]. Though he doesn't leave the reader without at least a theory. So do assholes love watches?

Nolan's post apparently isn't a reflection of what Gawker media feels about watches. About two weeks later the site posted an article titled "A Dozen Watches That Cost More Than Your House." That sounds like just the sort of article that would attract none other than the asshole Nolan was irritated with. And he was irritated. The familiar venom in his voice was no doubt livened by some recent encounter in New York City, where many a watch-asshole lives. People say that many a Wall Street man has that sort of "money is a reflection of how good a person I am attitude." These guys are certainly a major contingent of the men who buy watches for their perceived status value versus personal horological interest. So if you buy something that is expensive, just to show it off as something that is expensive, the result is that people who can't afford expensive stuff are going to think you are an asshole. That's what we call people who brag. Other people call them "bros" then try to one up them with something more expensive. Which probably accounts for something like 12% of profits for some watch brands.

Gawker wants to make damn sure that if you are buying expensive watches it is for the right reason. They don't go so far as to suggest that reason unfortunately. Still, they are trying to dispel all applicable myths like the good citizens that they are. A day before the post on timepieces that cost more than your house (well not all of our houses), Gawker studiously outlines "Why a $10 Casio Keeps Better Time Than A $10,000 Rolex." Yea, I know, sort of a "duh" statement to most of us, but the intention was positive. Though if they think people are buying high-end watches for accuracy they are sort of missing the point - and how. Then again, why it is that we buy expensive inaccurate watches, or mechanical instead of quartz watches is one of those reasons we can often taste, but infrequently can put into words. It's like trying to explain a pretty sunset. You just can't unless you are truly gifted, or perhaps British. Good watches are beautiful, and unless you've been able to experience a fine timepiece you simply can't impart the rationale for being into them.

At The Intersection Of Watch Lover And Asshole   feature articles

That doesn't totally explain Gawker's anti-horological agenda. Or are they just anti-asshole? To view the hole in their logic I drew a little Venn diagram. Nothing fancy, but it helped illuminate light on the topic. The circle on the left is "assholes" while the circle that partially overlaps it on the right is "watch lovers." There is most certainly an intersection of assholes that are also watch lovers, but that certainly doesn't account for all watch lovers, or all assholes. In fact, what remains to be explained are all the assholes that aren't watch lovers. Perhaps that accounts for watch lovers who are no longer or not yet assholes, or perhaps just a lot of assholes who haven't discovered watches yet. More study is required.

At least two of the Gawker articles take personal stabs at Rolex. Ouch! Naw... Rolex can take it. What intrigues me is that Nolan takes out his hate on the watches themselves. Aren't assholes easy enough targets, now you have to beat up on innocent makers of over-priced wrist accessories? Have mercy for the little guy Gawker. Starving children in Africa would kill for a Rolex. Patek is doing God's work. Isn't that obvious to everyone? Nolan has been around the block enough to be familiar with enough high-end watch brand names. He even throws down a little Richard Mille action. Even though he suggests the asshole with the $16,000 Breitling is pretty obnoxious. Wait 'til he gets a load of some RM. The dude's head is gonna pop. Emperor a-hole is about to be throned.

I've noticed something interesting about high-end items and the people that buy them. Once in a while someone comments on aBlogtoWatch, YouTube, or perhaps our Facebook page angry that the money people spend on a single luxury watch could go to save lives or feed children. That might seem sound, but it is a psychological and economic fallacy. First of all, people who have money tend to not like reminders that they have a lot of money. Sometimes like they to feel important or powerful, but nothing makes someone with money feel more uncomfortable than being around too many people with less money or being asked to give of their resources because social osmosis demands it. I go to a lot of charity parties for example. What you see there are people with money hanging around other people with money, quietly contributing to their tax write-off ledger - at a party. I'm not complaining or condemning. Simply pointing out that socially and economically speaking, the money that goes to buying expensive cars, houses, watches, women, etc... is destined for that purpose and wouldn't likely be shipped off to less fortunate people. It just isn't going to happen. So at worst guys like Nolan can admonish assholes who love watches for spending their cash on unnecessary material things like watches versus putting it into a retirement account or buying a CD for their kid's college money.

When it comes down to it, Nolan and Gawker overall seem to be irritated with vanity. Oh yes, one of the seven deadly Christian sins. That epicenter of all that is asshole boils down to one person trying to alpha another. A fantastically funny bullet list ends Nolan's piece on the asshole watch lover. He is careful to leave out the dedicated and educated watch enthusiast. Mostly showing anger to the wannabe watch man. I'll give him this: you can't buy yourself into being a watch lover. You need to be educated. Careful experience with watches breeds good taste and knowledge. Otherwise you are an over-funded poser, and no one likes that. Not even assholes.

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49 comments
MarkCarson
MarkCarson

To top it off the Gawker dude doesn't know jack about wine either. A guess Two Buck Chuck is all he needs. What a tool. Two kinds of people without taste - those with money and those without - and neither financial condition is what makes them tasteless either. What is arrogant is using poverty and ignorance as a badge of righteousness.

But maybe that is just the wine talking (I enjoyed a nice Barolo tonight).

.

MarkCarson
MarkCarson

Perhaps the intersection of Gawker and asshole is actually a subset, not an intersection at all. Unfortunately I followed the link to Gawker. Won't make that mistake again.

Snow1
Snow1

why would you waste your time writing about opinion pieces on gawker? do the authors here seriously follow gawker??  Gawker is full of complete left wing garbage and this is coming from someone who voted for Obama. 

Ryan B
Ryan B

Of all my friends I'm the only one who wears a watch so that automatically makes me the asshole of the group.

CG
CG

Gawker really? And I just wasted valuable minutes of my life reading about Gawker inanity, I can never get that time back and shame on me, I responded. You are all evil, you watch haters at Gawker.

ZL
ZL

I moonlight in a bar a couple times a week. When I was first discovering my watch obsession (relatively recently), I would sometimes ask customers what they were wearing. It turned out most of the time they were wearing something far less expensive than my Tag Heuer (currently my only luxury watch, unfortunately). Yeah, I felt like an asshole. I stopped doing that.

Ulysses31
Ulysses31

Look Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!

somethingnottaken
somethingnottaken

Meh. Pseudo-jealous psuedo-asshole columnist complains about rich assholes having more expensive toys in order to appeal to jealous asshole readers. Either that or the column was intentionally trolling watch lovers to get page hits and advertising revenue. Whichever way one looks at it, the anti-asshole column is itself a fine example of assholery.

GogogoStopSTOP
GogogoStopSTOP

MarkCarson @GogogoStopSTOP  

Ah, I've made such a silly oversight... The Gawkers are the Useful Idiot (U.I.'s)  But by the time you get to VladyBoy-PerpetualPresident, the Commie System has taken so much of Worker-People's money that you HAVE to spend it on watches, woman & wine.  And it turns out the transition point from U.I. to Vlady-Status only depends on just how many constituents you're willing to starve to death... you know, for each Nth year plan.


Gawkers loves the lovers of this way of life because Gawker is concerned with The Imponderables: Race, Gender & Anti Capitalism.  Logic?  What logic?  History?  What history?

SuperStrapper
SuperStrapper

Ly buy watches to look cool to others, and I make sure everyone sees whichever one I'm wearing; my 30-watch winder is mostly high bling, and I always splurge for the extra-long bracelet and strap: I live in Canada, and ir gets cold, so when I have to wear a winter coat, I need to make sure I have enough room to wear it on the outside of the sleeves: why else would you wear it if you couldn't show it off?

Does that make me an asshole?

DG Cayse
DG Cayse

Given the website and the anatomical reference, it appears that Mr. Nolan is merely writing to audience.

droo
droo

Just forgot to mention (as we are talking about grand pa' and beloved father) my dad told me once : "if assholes were flying you would be a team leader". All of this has a lot to do with self-satisfaction. Besides, Nivada Grenchen are cool watches...

shinytoys
shinytoys

I buy watches to please myself, not to impress anyone else. My grandfather had a shop on Jewelers Row on Samson St. in Philly. Caught the bug from him. He owned one watch, a solid gold Croton Nevada Gretchen which he wore everyday, it became my father's and now it's mine. I have many different watches, but I just can't get into the attitude thing. Same with my cars, same with my motorcycles, and same with my stereo gear. I have no time for self indulgent blowhards, just don't have the patience for them in all walks of life. That's the country boy in me, I'm too mellow and laid back for that kind of nonsense...

shinytoys
shinytoys

After being a subscriber to Ariel's blog, I just discovered this live forum...I really need to get out more :)

droo
droo

Hi everyone. The limit between watch lover and watch asshole is so tiny that I cannot even decide for myself.

I see those stupid winders keeping running all those watches, and I frequently think : should I be running dressed with rabbit fur in the mountains, with just one knife and my little dick trying to catch some animal I should eat raw unless I'm able to start a fire under pouring rain. Why so many watches since I have only one usable wrist ?

I love watches because they are the testimony of man skill, and intelligence. Trying to measure something that has finally no real interest : TIME. It is because of watches that time is not anymore a wild phenomenon, something we will never understand or dominate.  It is because of watches that our world is like this. We are slaved to time in this modern world.

Time is a  one way parameter of our lives we cannot rewind. Do we need a Patek to remind us ?

I love chronographs because they measure absolute and relative time. As a matter of fact I wear only chronographs because the pushers give me the feeling I am the master.

I am (for sure) an asshole since I know those watches will never avoid a certain death.

I hate assholes like everyone here, and as we say in France "if all assholes were on orbit, we could never see the sun shining again". Hopefully assholes don't fly by themselves...

MarkCarson
MarkCarson

Do over-funded assholes buy expensive watches? Sure, but they also buy expensive cars, houses, suits, shoes and vacations for the same purpose (to show off their wealth). Does that mean that houses, cars, clothes, etc. are bad? No, of course not. I think one's intent to flaunt their stuff is more of the issue.

I had a friend (not an asshole) who thought that once he could finally afford a Mercedes and a Rolex then he would have "arrived". Or perhaps put a bookmark or two in his life as having become an upper middle class earner arising from the  humble origins of a poor and alcoholic family. So good for him for making something of himself and buying nice stuff.

But I had a dim view of him buying the Benz (even though I had a more expensive BMW) and Rolex only because he bought them for their names, not because he had any appreciation for either one as fine pieces of machinery. If he were a motorhead or a  WIS, I'd have had no problem with his purchases. But he did it only for the status value. But being a non-asshole, he did not flaunt his toys - they were just for his personal satisfaction and the only person he wanted to take notice of his accomplishments was himself.

Maybe Ariel should do a follow up article listing/showing the watches of choice of famous assholes. What  did Hitler and Stalin wear? How about living assholes? There sure are plenty of them. I'll bet Donald Trump wears something expensive, but what? How about that 29 year old five star general in North Korea?

GogogoStopSTOP
GogogoStopSTOP

First of all, being a Gawker blogger is like being script writer for a daytime Soap.  You don't have to be smart, educated or literate... you just have to be overly melodramatic & appear to be for the "little guy" but really just want the adulation of countless wannabes.  Dare I say melodramatic liberals, progressive wannabes... Castro Cravers, Chavez chasers, Putin Puters... you get the message.

Secondly, unsolicited criticism of someone else's use of their own money would fall into the category of meddling.  Grow up Gawker

ZASKAR36
ZASKAR36

Seems to me he's got some anger issues. I hate Aholes in general...who doesn't. To interpret a link between Aholes and watches and condeming them for the reason of why they buy those watches? Who cares. I'm sure watches aren't the only thing that type of person is buying to flaunt their wealth.

Heck, there's a lot of things that people spend their money on that won't make sense to someone else, $600 iPhone and $300 monthly data plans? Not knocking anyone who has an iPhone, just pointing out in general most if not all people buy frivolous things. And it's everyone's right to spend their money how they want to. And why not? life is too short and you can't take it with you.


Bottomline. An Ahole is an Ahole no matter what he's got on his wrist. Unless he's just upset that that Ahole has more money than him.

bradokg
bradokg

I love the Venn diagram but would guess that the population of assholes outnumber the population of watch lovers.

utopian
utopian

"the money that goes to buying expensive cars, houses, watches, women, . . " - what a derogatory comment on women - FYI not all watch lovers or people with money and travel around the world use their money to buy women. 


Ulysses31
Ulysses31

The thing is, i'd wager quite comfortably that the vast majority of customers for the most well-recognised brands ARE over-funded posers.  Assholes are an unending gold-mine for these companies because they are easy to market a lifestyle to and so will purchase over and over again with little regard for any actual merits of the product they are buying.  No company wanting to make money hand over fist would ignore such a large group of customers but associating with them (for me at least) leaves some tarnish on the brand.  Does the company really care that much about their heritage and legacy, or churning out millions of shiny bling-laden trinkets that'll make the guys in the non-discerning asshole circle drool?  If I had to choose, I'd much rather purchase a watch from a barely known but extremely dedicate family run company who produced watches for the love of their craft and not for fame or keeping shareholders happy.  I would like to associate with a firm that shared some of my values, and by purchasing a product you endorse it in some way, especially for a product like a watch that is always on show.

DG Cayse
DG Cayse

I would reccomend a Shiraz by MAN VIneyards in South Africa. Very nice Chardonnay by this house also.

The local CostCo here has them at "Two Buck Chuck" (which alas is no more) pricing. I have spent the last 6 yrs or so deeply enjoying the reds of Chile and this SA vineyard has won me over. Nice story about the name. MAN, also. Harmony in the house.

DG Cayse
DG Cayse

The shadow you see is one of Soeteros drones seeking you out.

shinytoys
shinytoys

@Kris C  I would say no Kris...where it however you want , however you want. I think this article speaks to the person who has nearly no interest in the watch itself but simply the name brand and it being expensive. I have a 16 place watch winder, and countless watches, but it's all about the snooty attitude that drives me crazy. Most of these folks have no idea what makes their watch such a mechanical wonder, and they have no interest in finding out. It's keeping up with the Jones's , that's the kind of behavior that drives me bananas...Otherwise...Rock out with your co*k out...  :)

MarkCarson
MarkCarson

@Kris C Or just a Canadian? 

Kidding of course my friend. BTW - send me an email to Mark AT MarkCarson DOT com as I want to discuss a watch strap.

aleximd2000
aleximd2000

@shinytoys i love you man

I am the same kind

i buy the things for me and not to show somebody how much I earn or because this is trendy

that's why when I have something what I want i am not looking about the money

I had the opportunity once to buy from about 20 watches: I picked the IWC ingenieur and my dealer said : i would bet on your choic because i knew that you are the single who knows what iwc pellaton is!!!!! dicti

SN0WKRASH
SN0WKRASH moderator

@MarkCarson that totally inspired me to want to Photoshop together what that Hitler watch would look like!

MarkCarson
MarkCarson

@GogogoStopSTOP Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought Putin likes nice watches. But perhaps you are right that 'Putin Puters' are just closet communists.

bichondaddy
bichondaddy

@bradokg  I tend to agree with you.  I've met many more people who have fallen into the "asshole" category than watch lovers!  I have met a few assholes who fell into the watch lover category...just join any of the large watch forums and I can guarantee you will soon find plenty of assholes!!!!

SN0WKRASH
SN0WKRASH moderator

@utopian it's a derogatory action on women that some men use their money to "buy" them, and it's a derogatory action that women take who allow it and seek it out.  Reporting it is not derogatory.

aleximd2000
aleximd2000

@Ulysses31 look for the you tube a little movie how sylvester stallone is buying an Invicta

The dealer is talking all the time bullshit like this : this is an Invicta from solid gold bla bla

I think at that moment Sly did know on what planet he was actually he just bought the watch!

That kind of guy is buying for the fact of rolling the money!The article was an offence for those who are reading and learning for self joy and intellectual plaesure about watches. The writer are frustrated assholes!

In the movie U turn there is a little part when the dirty auto mechanic is telling sean penn I have a 1 dollar 99 watch with calculator with full option! Those are the archetype of the guys Gawker and nolan! Black dirty and uncultivated

MarkCarson
MarkCarson

@Ulysses31 So I take it then that you are in the market from something from Jacob & Co.

Ha ha, could not resist!

MarkCarson
MarkCarson

@DG Cayse I used to drink a lot of Aussie "Laughing Magpie" Shiraz (from Costco) when I would get the 2007. The 2008 was not as good and anyway all gone at my Costco on Oahu. I'll be on the look out for the MAN wines. Thanks for the tip.

aleximd2000
aleximd2000

@SN0WKRASH @MarkCarson i think you are a little bit off the orbit with this stupid paralel of what would Hitler wearing#

and if it is alange and soehne then lange is a bad watch isn't it

MarkCarson
MarkCarson

@SN0WKRASH @MarkCarson He would probably have had something like a pilots watch but with a swastika and perhaps the German eagle. Himmler no doubt would have had the SS logo on his.

aleximd2000
aleximd2000

@aBlogtoWatch @utopian  

I would ask , the two autors what is the difference between a 17 years old and a 57 years old  woman! Nothing? And between a tata car and a mercedes!Nothing again!!!

I advise them to go out and have a cheap beer and feel good , lamentating about how hard is life    alex

aleximd2000
aleximd2000

@MarkCarson @aleximd2000  

totally agree

no no Castro did not kill mass people

but what is wrong with him is that he poisoned the peoples mind  and many times this is far worse than killing a few

I don't understand why he was not weering a russian or soviet pobeda

It is cheaper it is  communist and so on

best for you mark   aleximd2000@yahoo.com

MarkCarson
MarkCarson

@aleximd2000  

Not to beat this issue to death, but I mentioned Stalin along with Hitler in my original post and then mentioned Himmler also. Totally agree about other asshats and their often being two-faced about wealth. To be fair (and this pains me as I'm no fan of his), I can't see how Castro killed more people than Hitler. Hey, I'd be happy to add Chavez to the list as an asshole even if not a mass murdered of the same magnitude. Also agree with your last statement about watch lovers vice posers. Cheers.

aleximd2000
aleximd2000

@MarkCarson @aleximd2000 no!!No!

I don't understand why in several occasions Hitler is 'taken' as  example

There are several more dictators much more fierce and more evil and nobody is talking about them1 For example Fidel Castro Mao Stalin so on.They were talking about equality and so and wearing rolex and omega.Something so imperialist

Their body counts are comparative also

Apropos about Venn diagramm

Those assholes who buy the exquisite expensive watches are contributing to us the real watch lovers for the development of the industry

I appreciate much more a guy who cannot afford a Breitling but he is dreaming of it than an rich dude who buy it only to show it off in za club!

bye


 

MarkCarson
MarkCarson

@aleximd2000 Watches (and brands) aren't "bad" because of who wears them. I think you missed the point of "intersection" in the Venn diagram. We are not talking about a subset of all assholes being watch dudes. 

Cheers

nateb123
nateb123

@SN0WKRASH @aleximd2000 @MarkCarson Actually Hitler did love A Lange und Soehne.  Just for the reason of wanting Germans to be the best at everything though, thus Mercedes and Hugo Boss getting the nod from the Nazis as well.

I can't imagine there is a way to get blacklisted by a brand faster than by asking ALS "So how did Hitler help the brand?" haha

aleximd2000
aleximd2000

@SN0WKRASH @aleximd2000 @MarkCarson I don't know about Hitler but Himler put his hands on a super high end Bourbon or Cognac called Frapin and he took it only and only for him!So he had his brand for his own !Cool!

SN0WKRASH
SN0WKRASH moderator

@MarkCarson  the whole face is a giant swastika on black with the German eagle at 12:00 is exactly what I was thinking and bonus points for going to Himmler next, Mark

MarkCarson
MarkCarson

@SN0WKRASH @MarkCarson @GogogoStopSTOP I'm pretty sure their is an action figure (doll for boys) of a bare chested Putin. Maybe you could strap on (let's no go there) a watch from a Ken doll or a GI Joe on a Vlad doll.